3 weeks and 2 days

Dear Owen,

It doesn't seem like I get anything done during the day, yet it goes by so fast! There are SO many little things that I want to write just so I'll never forget. I think most of these little things will need to go into a different journal, but I will still post bigger events and pictures of yours here.

So here we go...

BIRTH STORY

Your dad and I arrived at the hospital at 9 45 a.m. (15 minutes late) and got checked in. I changed into the gown and tried to get comfortable on the bed. We got hooked up to the monitors and everything looked great. A nurse and intern came in to draw blood, and that did not go well. The intern couldnt get the vein and proceeded to wiggle the needle all over the place. I had a bright purple bruise for over a week. Not kidding, that was the most painful part of the whole day! Another nurse came in to hook up my IV and tried to put it in on my wrist but she hit a vein and it swelled up like a golf ball. Then she inserted the IV into the top of my hand instead and that hurt too! I have acquired a bit of fear of needles now! After going over lots of questions with lots of doctors they said I was ready to be a mom :) I was so focused (and scared) I just followed the anasthesiologist out of the room without kissing or saying goodbye to your dad! I walked to the OR and it was smaller than I had imagined. I sat on the bed and had to hunch over as they gave me the spinal tap to numb me. It was so quiet in the room and the nurse who was holding me kept saying what a good job I was doing. I wasnt doing ANYTHING but NOT crying was an accomplishment - I kept thinking something was going wrong and no one knew. I then laid down and my legs were warm, then changed to a pins and needle feeling. Then Dr. W started asking if I "could feel this". Because I had a mirror above me (requested) I could see that she was poking me with something really sharp! It actually made me feel better seeing that because I was assured that I could not feel a darn thing! They then let your dad come in and he sat by my head to my left. I watched part of the surgery but not all of it. My belly was so big I couldnt actually see much. Your dad watched pretty much the whole thing!!! About 10 minutes after your dad walked in the doctor said "Ok, here he comes" but you didn't!!! She had to crawl on the bed while the other doctor held my belly back so she could yank harder to get you out. You were so long and your shoulders were wide - you put up a nice fight :) I watched as she pulled you out and the first thing I saw was your back and your butt - so cute! You immediately called for a diaper change (thanks for waiting til you were out). Then the doctors took you over to your bed and I saw your immense amount of blonde hair. SOrry to say, but my first thought was "That cant be my baby". I dont know if it was because your hair looked curly (it was went and matted down..and i was sort of drugged)and that sort of threw me or if it seemed so surreal that I actually DID have a baby inside of me for 10 months, that it wasnt a dream! Anyway, that all faded as I saw your dad stand over you and cut your umbilical cord as the nurses wiped you down and you cried and cried. Lying on that bed by myself, I heard the doctors congratulate me and call me MOM. I finally saw your face - red and scrunched and mad...you were beautiful. I asked if you were okay and they said yes and told me your weight and time if birth (one minute before my birth time!). Dr. W made the nurse weigh you again because you had measured much bigger the previous week. You cried and wiggled around and I started crying. It is hard to cry flat on your back! All the tears sat in my eyes and I kept trying to tilt my head to get them out. Your dad was busy taking pictures of your beautiful face so I asked the dr. for some kleenex! The anesthesiologist asked if I was nauseus (a common side effect) and I said no, but as I said no a wave of sickness washed over me. Thankfully, he pumped in another drug to take it away so I never threw up. I was extrememly itchy though (another common side effect) and it felt like my whole body had been bitten by mosquitos. (This itching continued to work its way down to my chest and thn went away - abouy 3 hours later) The nurse brought you over and put you on my chest and wheeled your dad and me to the recovery room. We both got baths and then you breastfed for the first time. It was strange and I had no idea what to do (no one can actually prepare for this because books can't fully describe everything) but you latched on like a pro and I just followed your lead! We stayed in this room for about an hour - looking at you in disbelief and total amazement and I was trying to practice moving my legs again. Your dad was trying to make phone calls but there was just so much going on! We stopped by the waiting room on the way to our final room so your grandparents could meet you. This part and the rest of the day is pretty hazy - I will have to get your dad to fill in the blanks for me! I do know the first group of people to meet you were your grandparents, jess, brett, jenny, stella, sophia, amanda, melissa, cindy, darik, and renee. Other visitors we had the next few days were denise, rebecca, lisa, jackie, jenn, michelle, pete, and myra. Another few facts on our hospital stay: the turkey sandwich on a pretzel bun was so good but I never got to eat it warm - guests or nurses always came in just as it was time to eat! I was walking that first night and showered the second day. My milk came in the 4th day, Thursday, and by then breastfeeding started to not hurt AS bad and we made our way home. We were so happy to have you home (your dad struggled a bit with your carseat) and we spent the night getting cozy with you and Ruby.

One thing I would like to add was a few days before the C section:
When I found out I was going to have a c section I was really upset. I told your dad that our birth class was a waste and we would never need to use any of those positions that we had practiced. I thought using those relaxation positions and breathing techniques would be so intimate fo ryour dad and me and bring us even closer. So your dad took me by the hand we did the "slow dance" position in the kitchen which is really just a nice, relaxing slow dance!!! It was so sweet that he wanted me to have that experience.

A few other things that have happened in the last 2 weeks:

You got pink eye somehow and 2 Saturdays ago we had to take you to the ER because the Pedi's office was closed. I cried and cried. I felt like it was my fault, that I didnt protect you enough to keep you healthy. You are so little and they had you on such a big steril table...my heart just broke. You were cold and started crying and I got you to stop by kissing your hand - and that made me cry harder!!! You are EVERYTHING to me. Anyway, after some medication you were looking much better! After a day it was completely gone. (I put mittens on you so you wouldnt try to spread the ointment stuff and Daddy and I started calling you "Mittens" which isnt very nice but was quite funny).

At your 2 week appt (which was a few days early) you had gained back exactly every ounce you lost on the hospital.

At the check up after our ER event you had gained more weight! 9 lbs and 8 oz. This is the first time I took you out of the house by myself.

Your nicknames have been: poppy, owners, owny, budders, mittens, big guy, handsome, mister, stinky, and babycakes...i dont think any of these will stick long enough through your high school years...heehee

You scrunch your nose when you nurse and hold my finger behind your head too.

You like rubbing your ear when you have your pacifier, or when you need to soothe yourself.

To date - you have peed on me or across me 3 times - you have pooped in my hand twice.

You love to coo and it is my favorite sound.

Your belly button fell off last Tuesday - your dad found it in the footie of your pjs...I was sad because that is what linked us for so long and thats how I nurtured you.

You smile when you dream.

You only cry when you are hungy, cold, need to burp, or need to suck.

We produce a lot of heat when we cuddle!

I took you to the hair salon with me because I couldnt stand the thought of leaving you and i had to nurse you while i got my hair washed and again during my hair cut!!!

and... your dad and i love you in a way we never thought possible. Every day is exciting and new!


ok - my next post will be pictures!!!

love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mom