Blogging

I blog to you every.single.day in my mind. I take pictures of you with my eyes, then I close my lids and try to see that moment again because I just CAN'T forget. Many times I mindblog (you like that?) and laugh, but there are many times when I realize these fleeting times and tear up during my mindblogging.

I had this picture-perfect idea of being a stay at home mom and teaching you a new letter each week. And during that week we would eat things that started with that letter, we would play with toys of the letters, and ..well.. you get the idea. But there are 3 problems.

1. We cant afford for me to be a stay at home mom AND save properly for your needs and future needs.
2. "X" and "Z" would be REALLY hard weeks.
and 3. Juggling time with you and Molly is HARD.

I want to take you on adventures. I want to take you to new places and try new things. Art class, music class, swim class, gym time, etc have been AWESOME. But I dont usually mention the crazy, stressful things that seem so funny...later. Like the time that we went to music class and my stomach is SO SO sick because I am TERRIFIED that Molly is going to wake up and want to nurse and you will be trying to beat your drum and you'll need your mom and the other moms are going to give me the evil eye because I am that crazy mom that tries to live life like she doesnt have 2 kids...dramatic, no? ANyway, in music class Molly slept the whole time and even slept through gym time. I thought it would be fun to go out to lunch with my babies. but in a moment of sanity I realized it would be better to eat in the car, in the parking lot, because we were ALL starving. SO I am sitting in the backseat of our car...one hand is feeding you bits of apple slices and cheeseburger while the other hand is supporting Molly's head while she is nursing (out of her carseat, of course). My belly is growling so I am trying to take sips of the pop I placed on the middle armrest, hoping the carbonation will inflate my stomach enough so I won't feel sick. (Side note: I am hungry because getting you up, dressed, and fed and then getting molly up, dressed, fed, AND pumping AND dressing me - sweatshirt/no make up/ponytail all before 10 am is very difficult.) But I digress. So I am sitting between you two - my left hand covered in mustard and salt and grainy apple bits and my right hand is seriously cramping and Molly is bobbing in between nursing, latching, and gasping for air because I don't have an extra hand to hold my boob back from pretty much suffocating her - and I realize that though I am hungry, I am not stressed. I'm actually pretty pleased with myself. I CAN live life AND have 2 kids AND go on adventures on my own. But I felt that way after lunch was OVER!

I have to go back to work in 2 weeks. blah. I will then count down to the last day of school so I can be at home with you and take you to more fun places. The zoo, an orchard, the pool, the library, a baseball game....

I should add that you pretty much HATED your swim class (thankfully its over) and I hope you will like a less strict class taught by me this summer. I need to also say that you ROCKED your Gymboree classes out and all the moms were smiling at you. When Ms. Danae brought out the bubbles you ran across the room screaming BUBBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You loved "over" and "under" games and thought "freezing" mid motion was hilarious :)

You are a little sponge and its amazing to see your mind work. Some "blog notes" I remember are when you helped me unload the dishwasher and saw the mug your dad always uses. You handed it to me and stated DADDY'S. You watch Molly nurse and will say MOLLY EAT and then make a sucking noise. You listen to my conversations and mimic words you recognize.

You showed your first sign of jealousy last Friday. You walked over to the carseat and pointed, while saying, "MOLLY". I said, "Yes, that is Molly's carseat". You corrected/emphasised and said, "No, MOLLYYYYY" and shoved your hand INTO the carseat as if you were telling me to put her in there and look at me! As I put Molly in the carseat you stepped in between the seat and me and wrapped your arms around my neck and hugged me. Just so you know, owen, I will ALWAYS have enough love for both of you!!!

You took a bath with your sister. You were the only one that liked all the splashing you made.

Well I am sure I havent emptied all of my mindblogs but I will keep adding as we go. I just hope you will remember that I always took you for adventures. I hope you will forget about the craziness that took place admist the adventure and just remember the fun!!!


love, mom